i make charming first impressions

foam parties are completely impractical

my clothes and hair are sticky, and my knees are all bruised
i don't know why i thought last night would be a good night to learn to wear heels
im pretty sure everyone loved catching me every 5 seconds as i slipped to my apparent doom


i think the best part was when i was on my knees SWIMMING THROUGH FOAM trying to find my cell phone for like 10 minutes before i remembered i stuck it in my top for safe keeping

Sorry!

I really just needed a break from this thing. Every entry was becoming duller and duller. This one really isn't much of an improvement.

I RESIGN!!

4 out of 5 doctors agree

I need this shirt.

Someone kick me in the ass and tell me to get a job and to stop spending all my money.